1. Poo-nado. This can also be referred to as a 'neck toucher' but in reality any nappy that causes you to wonder how the offending stuff got *there*.
2. Poo-nami. This is where a small tidal wave has engulfed the whole nappy and potentially started to seep out of the sides.
3. Poo-mageddon. This is the moment where you realise you may not get out alive and consider cordonning your child off until he/she is three.
4. Poo-tastrophy. One of those moments where you genuinely consider buying a new carpet rather than clearing up the mess.
5. Poo-pocalypse. That's it. The only solution is to sell the house (at a hugely reduced price of course) and find somewhere else to live.